It was as if the bullies had planted a seed of self-doubt that grew over time, choking out any sense of self-worth or confidence.
Jackie Barker
Childhood bullying can have a profound impact on a person’s mental health, especially for someone who is quiet and introverted, like I was. As a child, I struggled to make friends and fit in with the other kids. As a result, I became a prime target for bullies. They would tease me, call me names, and exclude me from social activities, which only exacerbated my feelings of helplessness and isolation. Consequently, I often felt alone and lost, wondering what I had done to deserve such treatment.
Moreover, bullying has had a long-lasting impact on my mental health. It wasn’t until I sought help that I realized how much it had affected me. The memories of the bullying lingered on, replaying in my mind like a broken record. Feelings of shame, low self-esteem, and anxiety have plagued me almost my entire life. It was as if the bullies had planted a seed of self-doubt that grew over time, choking out any sense of self-worth or confidence. The trauma of the experience was something that I carried with me for many years, and it played a role in shaping who I am today.
Early Years
Growing up, I was a shy kid who always found it difficult to make friends. The bullies at school seemed to pick up on my susceptibility and quickly turned their attention to me. They would constantly tease, insult and humiliate me, leaving me feeling like an outcast. I vividly remember feeling helpless and alone, wondering why I was being singled out for such cruel treatment. Along with another traumatic event from my childhood, the constant bullying had a long-lasting impact on my mental health. It was not until years later that I began to fully understand the extent of the damage it had caused.
Adulthood
As time went on, the long-term impact of the bullying became increasingly apparent in my life. I struggled with low moods, feelings of hopelessness, and a sense of detachment from the world around me. The things that used to bring me joy and pleasure no longer held the same appeal, and I found myself withdrawing from social situations and isolating myself from others. And it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t escape the pain and trauma of my past.
The depression that resulted was all-consuming, making it difficult to find joy in the simple things in life. I often feel exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Even to the point of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. My sleep is affected too. I struggle to switch off at night often leading me to wake up feeling groggy and lethargic. It is as if the bullying has stolen my zest for life, leaving me feeling empty.
Road to Recovery with Digital Art
Realizing that I needed help managing my depression symptoms, I quickly discovered that traditional forms of therapy didn’t work for me. Talking to someone face-to-face about my problems is still very challenging. So instead, I turned to a more creative and unconventional outlet, digital art. This form of self-expression became an avenue for me to find relief from the pain.
The act of creating digital art has become a way to give voice to my struggles with mental health. It has allowed me to express the emotions that I had kept hidden away for far too long. Additionally, digital art has provided me with a platform to explore and process the complexities of my mind. This has ultimately helped me to achieve a much-needed sense of relief.
Through digital art, I was able to tap into a sense of creativity and healing that honestly, I did not know I possessed. Digital art has provided me with a safe space to be myself. But more importantly, it has helped to transform my pain into something meaningful. By prioritizing my mental health, I have been able to find a sense of hope. A sense of hope which has allowed me to begin the journey to healing.
Closing
Looking back on my journey, I realize that there are many different paths to recovery. While traditional forms of therapy may work for some, it’s important to recognize that everyone’s healing journey is unique. For me, digital art is the tool that I needed to manage my symptoms and begin the process of healing.
Despite the lasting impact of the bullying, I have refused to let it define me. I have worked hard to overcome the pain of my past. It’s been a long and challenging journey, but I have found solace in writing about my experiences and sharing my story with others.
It has been a difficult journey to overcome the stigma and shame brought on me by my bullies. But with the support of my loved ones and prayer, I continue to find the courage to speak openly about my experiences. By sharing my story in this weekly blog, I hope to break down the barriers preventing others from seeking help. It is also my hope that by sharing my journey, we can foster a culture of openness and support. A culture where people feel empowered to seek the help they need without fear of judgment or rejection.
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If you made it this far, please consider commenting below, subscribing, and also sharing on your social media sites. Most importantly, I ask for your prayers. I write this weekly blog as an outlet in my fight against depression. However, my hope is that something I write here may help others who may be struggling. If you would like to help with my battle against depression, check out my online Etsy store. Most proceeds are donated to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
If you or someone you know may be contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or by dialing 988. You may also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. In emergencies, call 911, or seek care from a local hospital or mental health provider.
Scripture quotations marked HCSB are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Used by Permission HCSB ©1999,2000,2002,2003,2009 Holman Bible Publishers. Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Holman CSB®, and HCSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.