A New Chapter – Random Thoughts on Turning Fifty

Vintage 1972

WOW! Where has 2022 gone off too? It literally feels like yesterday we were watching the crystal ball in New York City drop to ring in 2022. Our Pastor last Sunday mentioned during his message how slowly time goes by when we are children. But then we reach our senior year in high school and boom! Time picks up speed. He reminded the seniors in high school to slow down and savor the moment.

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I would add that the apparent speed of time increases exponentially as we get older and older.

In last week’s blog, I wrote about four ways of boosting our morale during the upcoming holiday season. Also in that blog, I mentioned that time is your most valuable asset. This statement is ringing very true to me today. As my time here on earth moves along, I am reminded of this body’s mortality.

For this week’s blog, let’s take on a slightly lighter topic. Today, I give you some random thoughts about my first day at the top of the hill.

Happy Birthday To Me

So with today being September 30th, I have officially made another trip around the sun. And with this one marking my fifty, I must say that I am surprised to have made it this long. Given my family’s health history and my suicidal thoughts, I do consider myself fortunate to still be on this side of eternity.

Being real here, if you were to ask me today, “Jackie, do you feel 50?”, my answer would sarcastically be, “well without a frame of reference, I cannot reliably answer that question since I have never been fifty before.” I can however say for certain that I am physically tired. Always mentally tired, but today, I am exhausted.

My Mid-Life Crisis Vehicle

I told you this was going to be random thoughts. Stick with me.

Now you will likely not believe this, but it is true. I have dreamt of my mid-life crisis vehicle ever since I heard the phrase. Granted, the make and model of the vehicles have changed over the years however the theme always remained the same. I wanted a sports car and it had to be fast.

1978 Ferrari 308 GTS
1978 Ferrari 308GTS

My first mid-life crisis vehicle was going to be a 1978 Ferrari 308GTS, which appeared in the television series titled Magnum PI. At the ripe old age of eight, Magnum’s Ferrari drew my attention mostly due to its bright red color. But really, it was the mustache worn by the title character, which I have been rocking ever since I could grow facial hair.

1982 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am

Moving forward two years to 1980, my second mid-life crisis vehicle arrived again on a television show. Now this one likely had the most influence on my life. As a 10-year-old boy, I was instantly drawn to the television show titled Knight Rider. The show had a lot of cool flashy technology which may be the reason why I am in the field of information technology. A talking car that could drive itself? Who didn’t love K.I.T.T? And little did we know that just 40 years later, we too would have cars that talk and drive themselves.

There have been dozens of other cars over the years however my current obsession is the 2023 Chevy Camaro.

2023 Chevy Camaro
2023 Chevy Camaro

With a starting price of $26,000, the 2023 Chevy Camaro is a thing of beauty. Wouldn’t I look really good rolling around in this beast?

Well Thrifty, Thrifty, Look Who’s Fifty

So in the last twenty-five years, my bride has taught me many things. She has taught me it is okay to say No. And she has taught me how not to be pretentious. But probably one of the most valuable life lessons is proper budgeting. Prior to our wedding, I bled money like someone on blood thinners with a paper cut. Spending money as soon as I got it, and like our government, spending money before I had it in my account was my normal routine. I had the mindset of if I wanted it, I was going to get it.

Thankfully, she stuck with me and encouraged me along to get us where we are today. And looking back over those years, it is difficult to fathom that we have lived at the beach for just over eight years.

But I still need work and my story is not finished. I need to learn to let go of the stress caused by money. As I approached the age of 50, retirement increasingly became a forefront in my mind. There are days when even the idea of retirement consumes me.

  • Will we have enough saved to live on post-retirement?
  • Will we need to cut back on the lifestyle we have come accustomed to?

These are all unanswered questions that I just need to turn over to God and let Him guide my path.

Wrapping Up

2022 Fender Kingman Acoustic Bass
Fender Kingman Acoustic Bass

So you may be wondering which mid-life crisis vehicle did I go with. Well alas, my mid-life crisis vehicle ended up being a 2022 Fender Kingman Acoustic Bass guitar. Here she is, my birthday gift to me. Meet Hayley.

Music continues to be one of my mental health coping mechanisms. And now, with Hayley on the stand beside my desk, I can pick her up and strum a few chords while I wait, impatiently, for others to join the next zoom.


If you made it this far, please consider commenting below, subscribing, and also sharing on your social media sites. Most importantly, I ask for your prayers. I write this weekly blog as an outlet in my fight against depression. However, my hope is that something I write here may help others who may be struggling. If you would like to help with my battle against depression, check out my online Etsy store and affiliate links. Most proceeds are donated to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

If you or someone you know may be contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or by dialing 988. You may also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. In emergencies, call 911, or seek care from a local hospital or mental health provider.

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