I am tired. Tired of feeling like a failure. And of feeling down all time and of the daily monotony. Depression can be a real dampener some days.
Today is Friday and I should be happy, excited, for the coming weekend; however, this week has been a rough one. My day job the past several weeks has been a challenge to my mental stability. And I am sure the approaching holiday season is adding to my despair. Though I absolutely love the fall and winter seasons (mostly due to the cooler temperatures), I loathe the feelings and thoughts which come along with the holidays. Feelings of loss and emptiness. Feelings of sadness.
The little stick figure pretty much sums up the way I feel today. Mentally tired.
Those who know me know that my passion is to make people happy so I am sorry for being such a downer today. After becoming more vocal last year about my condition, I have received a huge outpouring of support from my friends and family. The heartfelt words of encouragement have truly been a blessing to me. So I am sorry to be such a downer today. Moreover, I ask please for your continued prayer over the next several weeks as the holidays approach.
A bit of good news which really brightened my day last Sunday. Someone, who I do not know, purchased five canvas prints from my Etsy store. Four 8×10’s and one 11×14. Needless to say, I was speechless. I am not selling my drawings to make money. My hope is that my meager talent will make someone happy.
I will leave you with this Psalm. This is my hope.
I waited patiently for the Lord, and He turned to me and heard my cry for help. He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. - Psalm 4:2-3
If you made it this far, please consider commenting below, subscribing, and also sharing on your social media sites. Most importantly, I ask for your prayers. I write this weekly blog as an outlet in my fight against depression. However, my hope is that something I write here may help others who may be struggling. If you would like to help with my battle against depression, check out my online Etsy store and affiliate links. Most proceeds are donated to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
If you or someone you know may be contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or by dialing 988. You may also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. In emergencies, call 911, or seek care from a local hospital or mental health provider.
Today is Friday as well. And this post is exactly how I feel. Always trying to please my family, and feeling like a failure when I make a mistake! I am sick and tired of my life. Of being alone every single day. But Ii know that Jesus knows how I feel and He is the ONLY one keeping me alive right now. I thank the Lord that He had for me to come across you! I love reading your entries. You make me smile, laugh and feel better, truly. Thank you!
Praying for you!
Thank you. We are in this battle together.